Assalam and hey there peeps!!
How is your day today??I hope you all were doing fine beside your loves one..hmmm...
I'm not talking about the LOST series..not about the LOS and FAUN also..
but it was about my feeling..yes.. again.. I’m lost in my own feeling..
hmm..I don’t know why..but it keep on bothering me..It was hard for me to explain every inches of these feeling since it was mixed up with all the hectic things that happening to me, but somehow I was just wishing that I can pass this stormy day..hmm..its hard..definitely it was..and yes I was so lost in my own emotion that it make me so not in a mood or in easy word, moody-moody..sometimes I feel, I just want to quit everything and try to live as far as my feet can reach but I know it is impossible to do that..Its totally impossible..Its not that I don’t want to face it or what, it just that I’m totally not in the things that I’ve been doing.. I know, its hard for people to believe that I’m in the state of mixed feeling thanks to my covering smile and laughs..but I don’t know for how long I’ll be pretending like this.. I know, everything happen for a reason..but somehow I can’t figure out the reason right now.. impostor..will I become one??but for how long??hmm..I don’t know..sometimes I just want have some space, alone to rebuild myself..*sigh..* how I wish I can rebuild myself..If can, I really want to rebuild myself..How I wish I was in my childhood day, since that time was the only period that I wasn’t required to think a lot of my future.. hmm..I’m scared to screw up..I’m scared to fail again..but somehow. I was losing my focus on everything..I don’t know why..but my focus is decreasing day by day..Oh Allah..give me strength.. it almost a month before my final exam.. I don’t want to go and answer the paper recklessly.. I know what will happen if I do that..hmm..I will end up in some situation that I don’t want to end up.. guide me Oh Allah..bring me to the light of Your love and mercy..Amin..and do lend me a strength to face this test from You, I know, You will never test me more than I could handle.. but as your servant, I still feel this small problem is totally hard, so I’m begging for your guidance to help me to solve everything that keep on bothering me,and I’m hoping for You guidance in making me to be a much more better person..please lend me the strength Oh Allah the Almighty..Make me a rational person, clear my mind from all the negative feeling that I’ve been having lately..and the TRUTH is, I’m LOST without Your loves and blessing, make my mind, my heart and myself strong.. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin..
Idon’t know what more to say, but one thing for sure, I hope when I sleep, I’ll wake up with more positively thinking and positively self..amin..Have a blissful day peeps..pray before you sleep..Assalam and good night..